Race and Gender Do Not Matter

I would like to open this piece with two different excerpts:

Here is the first one:

The bond between husband and wife is a strong one. Suppose the man had hunted her out and brought her back. The memory of her acts would still be there, and inevitably, sooner or later, it would be cause for rancor. When there are crises, incidents, a woman should try to overlook them, for better or for worse, and make the bond into something durable. The wounds will remain, with the woman and with the man, when there are crises such as I have described. It is very foolish for a woman to let a little dalliance upset her so much that she shows her resentment openly. He has his adventures–but if he has fond memories of their early days together, his and hers, she may be sure that she matters. 

And here is the second one:

You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since – on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to displace with your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be.

The first excerpt is from The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu, which is widely considered to be the first novel in the world. The author lived from around 973 to 1014 or 1025 CE, and the book was written between 1000 and 1012 CE.

Now, the second excerpt is from Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, who is a more modern author of novels. The author lived from 1813 to 1870 CE, and the book was written in 1861 CE.

One was written by a Japanese woman living in the Heian period (or the High Middle Ages in European history).

The other was written by an English man living in the Victorian era.

Besides languages changing and translations done, are either of these texts unintelligible? Is there any sense of loss in meaning or emotion across time? Does understanding cease with one being from another race or gender than our own? No, no, and no again.

People today are falling into the tribalist trap. Just because you are, let’s say, a young Hispanic woman who has not seen a flash drive or a cassette tape outside of museums, does not mean that you cannot read a book from any time period and empathize with that writer. That is truly the magic of literature. Modern people can still have a dialogue of sorts with other people who have long since gone back into the earth, regardless of skin color or gender. It doesn’t matter! What literature does is bring honest thoughts to the fore.

Still unconvinced? Let’s take another example. But, first, let me warn you that these images may be a bit too graphic for some viewers as they are of real human cadaver arms. I recently came across the Institute of Human Anatomy’s YouTube channel, and in a couple of their videos, they go into the complex anatomy of the human hand.

Can you tell what race either arm is? Neither could I. The screenshot on the left is of a black man and the one on the right is of a white woman. Race is not a scientific concept but simply a social one. Even Shakespeare points this out in The Merchant of Venice when Shylock says, “If you prick us, do we not bleed?” We all migrated out of Africa and have not had that much time to evolve, so there is only a superficial difference between us based on environmental factors (that is only 0.1% of our DNA). Underneath our skin, we look the same. An apt Ayn Rand quote from The Virtue of Selfishness deserves its place here: “Racism is the lowest, most crudely primitive form of collectivism. It is the notion of ascribing moral, social or political significance to a man’s genetic lineage—the notion that a man’s intellectual and characterological traits are produced and transmitted by his internal body chemistry. Which means, in practice, that a man is to be judged, not by his own character and actions, but by the characters and actions of a collective of ancestors.” She also famously says in her book, Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal, that “[t]he smallest minority on earth is the individual.”

The same thinking goes for sexism. Like many other people I’ve heard speak on this subject, I was one of those tomboy girls. I wore jeans and a T-shirt for my entire academic career. I found that these clothes were the most comfortable to live in because that way my outfits didn’t distract away from my studies. Did I think I was attracted to girls because of the way I dressed? No. Did I feel like I was in the wrong body because of it? No. I really did not feel “feminine” until I started having sex. Being with the opposite sex made me feel more submissive and I fit into the other half of the puzzle piece well. The bond between a man and a woman does feel very natural. However, all that time beforehand was purely a time for the mind to grow without restraint. In today’s day and age, my education was not withheld or manipulated to be on a different level or about different subjects from the boys. I learned about anything and everything I could (and I still am today). All of that to say, sex does not, nor should it, play a role in the education of a child.

The human mind is our tool of survival, and there is no race or gender divide that can stop us from using it and communicating our thoughts clearly with one another. There is no “separate reality” or “my truth.” There is no “black perspective” or “white perspective.” There is no age too old or young to understand one another once language is attained and maintained. There is no beauty standard that makes us unable to speak to each other. There is no reason a man cannot explain something to a woman and vice versa.

The only difference to be found concerns varying cultures. While Ayn Rand talks about culture as “not the anonymous product of undifferentiated masses, but the sum of the intellectual achievements of individual men (The Virtue of Selfishness),” I do think that there can be bad cultures that uphold negative things as values.

The battles of ideas and values play out in various cultures, but most of them sink and only a few of them swim over the long term. For example, history proves to us that killing off a group based on superficial reasons causes war and loss and suffering. The culture quickly forgoes that as a value once they lose the war. A culture centered around gang violence and stealing from stores only tears down its followers and destroys itself from the inside out. But a culture where individual happiness is the focus provides people with diets and exercise plans and enlightenment ideas. There are numerous examples I could run through concerning what makes up a good culture versus a bad one, but I do not have time for that here. Come up with your own. What divides us, at least in first-world countries today, is not race or gender but a culture war where tribalism is rearing its ugly head.

I am here to remind you that race and gender do not matter. Period. Stop listening to the news that is telling you otherwise. Stop teaching students that there is a veil between us that separates our “realities” and our “truths” from being acknowledged by “the other.” Stop saying that this group can’t be held accountable because of the color of their skin. Stop whispering the things that should be said aloud. Stop playing the victim and remember that there is only one race: the human race.

***

Links: https://www.amazon.com/Tale-Genji-Penguin-Classics-Deluxe/dp/014243714X/ref=asc_df_014243714X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=353567357648&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=261658845120380685&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018402&hvtargid=pla-433833151184&psc=1&mcid=adaf1d9913d1301d99b5adca204c77c3&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=79744846988&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=353567357648&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=261658845120380685&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018402&hvtargid=pla-433833151184&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIzt_m_vH2gwMVySitBh3w8gDmEAQYASABEgJdE_D_BwE; https://www.amazon.com/Great-Expectations-Barnes-Noble-Classics/dp/1593080069; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y69D76RdMs&ab_channel=InstituteofHumanAnatomy; https://www.amazon.com/Merchant-Venice-Folger-Shakespeare-Library/dp/0743477561/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2IMMOBYCCR9BS&keywords=the+merchant+of+venice&qid=1706129264&s=books&sprefix=the+merchant+of+venice%2Cstripbooks%2C122&sr=1-1; https://www.amazon.com/Virtue-Selfishness-Fiftieth-Anniversary/dp/0451163931/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2R0VQVTO930S9&keywords=the+virtue+of+selfishness+by+ayn+rand&qid=1706129274&s=books&sprefix=the+virtue+of+%2Cstripbooks%2C108&sr=1-1; https://www.amazon.com/Capitalism-Ideal-Ayn-Rand/dp/0451147952

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Views Expressed Disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the postings, strategies, or opinions of American Wordsmith, LLC. Please also know that while I consider myself an Objectivist and my work is inspired by Objectivism, it is not nor should it be considered Objectivist since I am not the creator of the philosophy. For more information about Ayn Rand’s philosophy visit: aynrand.org.

Excerpts from Manners for Men by Mrs. Humphry, 1897

I will be sharing several interesting excerpts from the books that I have been reading as of late. This one is an etiquette book for gentlemen written by Mrs. Humphry, a late Victorian novelist, in 1897 entitled Manners for Men. I will also put the link to the full text at the end of the excerpts if you want to read the complete work.

Let’s begin.

Apart from faults of temper, men fall into careless habits of speech and manner at home, and one form of this, viz., habitually using strong language in the presence of women and children, is particularly offensive. Besides, it defeats itself; for if the forcible expressions are intended to express disapprobation, they soon become weak and powerless to do so, because they are used on every possible occasion. After a time they lose all meaning.

***

The strict rule is that when walking with a lady a man should never leave her side.

***

Sometimes ladies are very anxious to take the reins and drive themselves, a circumstance which has often occasioned agonies of nervousness to other women on the coach. It is quite possible to refuse such a request in a polite and gentlemanly way, partly by seeming to ignore it or laughing it off.

***

The old-fashioned rule that a man must approach the father of a girl before offering himself in marriage to her has now, to some extent, died out.

***

The usual way to ask for the admired one’s hand in marriage is in person. This is always preferable to writing, though some men have not the courage to adopt the first course. 

Should the lady accept the offer, the happy wooer must take the earliest opportunity of seeing her father, or, failing him, her nearest friend, and begging him to permit the engagement. Should he consent, all is well; but in the contrary case, his decision must be accepted.

***

Immediately upon having the engagement ratified, the accepted suitor gives the lady an engagement ring. This should be as handsome a present as he can afford to buy. Together with all other presents and correspondence on both sides, this ring must be returned if the engagement should be broken off.

***

No man should drag a girl into a long engagement. Nor should any man propose to a girl until he is in a position to provide for her. 

He is only standing in the way of other wooers who may be well supplied with this world’s gear. Such trifles as wealth and ease may appear as nought to the mind of the youthful lover, not to be weighed for a moment in the balance with love and young romance. The girl, too, may be of the same way of thinking at the time, but it the more behoves the man, the stronger, to consider her and to remember that poverty is such a bitter and a cruel thing that it even kills love at times.

***

Custom demands that the bridegroom shall present her bouquet to the bride, as well as bouquets and a present each to the bridesmaids. He must furnish the house for the bride in every detail, not excepting the house and table linen, which, in the old days of spinning-wheels, was wont to be contributed by the bride herself. 

He must provide the wedding ring and the carriage in which his best man and himself go to church. He pays the fees to clergyman and clerk, but it is the best man who hands them over. With him the bridegroom waits at the altar till the bride arrives. She takes her place at his left hand for the first time, and at the proper moment he produces the ring which is the symbol of their union. 

The usual dress of a bridegroom consists of a very dark blue frock-coat, light trousers, light or white scarf-tie, patent boots, and a new hat.

***

Addresses of Letters. 

Her Majesty the Queen. 

To His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales. 

To Her Royal Highness the Princess of Wales. 

This same form is used in addressing communications to all other members of the Royal Family, adding the title where the word “Prince” or “Princess” would be incorrect, as:— 

To His Royal Highness the Duke of York. 

To Her Royal Highness the Duchess of York. 

Below the rank of royalty there is the distinction between letters addressed by persons on an equality with those to whom formal and they write, and by inferiors. 

***

Address for the envelope—formal and informal. 

I shall call them formal and informal, and range them in separate lines. 

Informal. Formal. 
The Duke of —— To His Grace the Duke of —— 
The Duchess of —— To Her Grace the Duchess of —— 
The Marquis of —— To the Most Honourable the Marquis of —— 
The Marchioness of ——    To the Most Honourable the Marchioness of —— 
The Earl of —— To the Right Honourable the Earl of —— 
The Countess of —— To the Right Honourable the Countess of —— 
The Viscount —— The Right Honourable the Viscount —— 
The Viscountess —— The Right Honourable the Viscountess —— 
Lord —— The Right Honourable Lord —— or Baron —— 
Lady —— The Right Honourable Lady —— or Baroness— 

***

Addressing Privy Councillors. 

Members of the Privy Council are also addressed as “Right Honourable,” in the same way as Peers. In this case the names of commoners are not followed by the abbreviation “Esq.,” as:— 

The Right Honourable James Balfour, M.P. 

***

Ambassadors. 

Ambassadors and their wives are addressed as “His Excellency,” “Her Excellency,” the personal and official titles following the word, as:— 

To His Excellency the Earl of——, Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary to France. 

To Her Excellency the Countess of——. 

Other official personages are addressed in the following way:— 

To His Excellency Lord Blank, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. 

To His Grace the Archbishop of——. 

The Right Reverend the Bishop of——. 

The Very Reverend the Dean of——. 

***

Degrees. 

Academical distinctions are indicated by the initials placed after the name—LL.D. for Doctor of Laws and Learning, D.D. for Doctor of Divinity and so on. 

***

Beginning the letter. 

So much for the envelopes. The proper way to begin letters is as follows. As I have mentioned, the Queen is addressed as “Madam” in the inside of a letter. A gentleman writing 

***

To the Queen. 

to the Queen would sign himself, “I have the honour to submit myself, with profound respect, Your Majesty’s most devoted subject and servant.” Above the word “Madam” should be written “Her Majesty the Queen.” Lord Beaconsfield struck out a line of his own and in writing to the Queen began, “Mr. Disraeli,” continuing in the third person and addressing Her Majesty in the second. 

***

To the Prince and Princess of Wales. 

The Prince of Wales is addressed as “Sir,” above this word being written “To His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales.” Persons on intimate terms sometimes begin “Sir” or “Dear Prince,” others “My dear Prince.” The Princess of Wales is occasionally addressed by friends as “My dear Princess.” The two orthodox endings to such letters are respectively “Your Royal Highness’s dutiful and obedient servant,” or (a humbler style) “Your Royal Highness’s dutiful and most obedient servant.” To all other Royal Princes and Princesses the ending would be “Most Humble and Obedient Servant.” 

***

To a Duke and Duchess. 

Dukes other than royal are addressed inside letters by intimates as “Dear Duke,” by others “My Lord Duke, may it please your Grace.” In writing to a Duchess her title is placed above the “Madam.” In formal letters Marquises would be addressed as “My Lord Marquis.”

***

On omitting christian names from courtesy titles. 

A very common form of mistake is that of omitting the Christian name from the courtesy titles of the sons and daughters of dukes, marquises, and earls. The sons have the title “Lord” prefixed to the Christian and surname: for instance, “Lord Alfred Osborne,” “Lord Henry Somerset.” It is extremely incorrect to call either of these “Lord Osborne” or “Lord Somerset.” The daughters of dukes, marquises and earls have the title “Lady” before their Christian and surname; “Lady Emily Heneage,” for instance, must not be addressed as “Lady Heneage.” Should she marry a commoner only the surname is altered, the “Lady Emily” remains. This may all appear a little involved to those unaccustomed to titles, but neglect of these forms indicates very clearly a lack of savoir faire. It is a source of great annoyance to the owners of courtesy titles to have the Christian name omitted. Anybody, even a knight’s wife, may be a “Lady Smith” or “Jones”; the insertion of the Christian name before the “Smith” or “Jones” means that the possessor is the daughter of a duke, marquis, or earl. 

***

Beginning a letter to the above.

In beginning a letter to any of the above a stranger would say “Dear Lady Mary Smith,” but the usual form would be “Dear Lady Mary.” Inferiors would begin by writing the lady’s title over the word “Madam,” or merely beginning “Madam” and writing the title at the end of the letter. 

***

To an ambassador with conclusion. 

In writing to an ambassador or his wife the title is placed above the word “Sir” or “Madam.” Inferiors would write “May it please your Excellency,” and would conclude with “I have the honour to be Your Excellency’s most humble, obedient servant.”

***

An archbishop. 

In writing to an archbishop a correspondent would begin “Your Grace,” ending, “I remain Your Grace’s most obedient servant.”

***

A bishop. 

To a bishop the form would be, “My Lord,” or “Right Reverend Sir,” or “May it please Your Lordship,” the last being, of course, the humblest form of address. The conclusion would be, I remain, “My Lord” (or “Right Reverend Sir”) “Your most obedient servant.” 

***

A dean. 

The beginning of a letter to a dean would be, “Reverend Sir” or “Mr. Dean,” the title of all these dignitaries being, in formal letters, indited above the beginning. Those having slight acquaintance would begin, “Dear Mr. Dean.” Strangers would end the letter, “I have the honour to be Your most obedient servant.” 

***

Doctors of Divinity. 

Doctors of divinity are addressed as “Reverend Sir,” as well as archdeacons and all other clergy.

Intimates would begin letters to the above with: “Dear Archbishop,” “Dear Bishop,” “Dear Dean,” or “Dear Doctor.” 

***

Officers in the army. 

With the sole exception of lieutenants in the army, all officers have their military rank prefixed to their name. Ensigns and lieutenants are addressed as “Esq.” 

And navy. 

***

Letters of condolence. 

A very unusual fault committed is to begin by dilating upon the shock or grief felt by the writer. The absurdity of this becomes apparent when one compares mentally the shock or grief as felt by the recipient. Two lines conveying the expression of sympathy are better than pages of even the most eloquent composition. Mourners require all their fortitude at times of loss, and anything likely to impair their self-command is the reverse of a kindness.

***

In this connection it may be as well to remark that about a week after the funeral it is customary to call and leave cards of inquiry. When these are responded to by cards of thanks for inquiries, it is a sign that the family is willing to receive callers.

***

Link: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/53262

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Views Expressed Disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the postings, strategies, or opinions of American Wordsmith, LLC. Please also know that while I consider myself an Objectivist and my work is inspired by Objectivism, it is not nor should it be considered Objectivist since I am not the creator of the philosophy. For more information about Ayn Rand’s philosophy visit: aynrand.org.

Excerpts from A Word to Women by Mrs. Humphry, 1898

I am learning to embrace my unique lifestyle by reading more about the Victorian era, a period in which I find most of my favorite art and some of the most amazing inventions. Perhaps our historic, Queen Anne-styled home has rubbed off on me too, as I am surrounded by its beauty every day. Hopefully, learning what a middle-class Victorian woman did in the home will help guide me on my own journey through life.

I will be sharing several interesting excerpts from the books that I have been reading as of late. This one is an etiquette book for ladies written by Mrs. Humphry, a late Victorian novelist, in 1898 entitled A Word to Women. I will also put the link to the full text at the end of the excerpts if you want to read the complete work.

Let’s begin.

His wife is an education to him…

***

The ideal girl is she who combines with high culture a love of the domestic and a desire to please.

***

It is good to encourage the love of simple pleasures. It is the way to keep our souls from shrinking.

***

To possess a grateful spirit is to increase the happiness of life.

***

It is good to teach young people to appreciate the infinite, everyday pleasures that surround them. It adds immensely to their happiness…

***

To grow old is tragic, especially for women.

***

And as one of Nature’s decrees is that which causes us to adjust ourselves to altered surroundings after change or loss, we accept the altered circumstances, and allow our thoughts and feelings to grow round what is left to us.

***

We were surely meant to be happy, we humans, so indomitable is the inclination towards joyfulness under circumstances the most adverse. It is easy enough in youth, and even the sceptic, the pessimist, the cynic, if they live long enough, will find that it is not so very difficult in middle age, when scepticism, pessimism, and cynicism are apt to be outgrown. There lies the true secret of the matter. There is a joy in growth, and we must see to it that we do not cheat ourselves of it. Stunted natures are seldom happy ones, and their middle age is merely mental shrinkage, with a narrowing of the heart and a corresponding drought in all the sources of joy.

***

Sometimes two who have loved each other in their youth meet again when middle age has come to both. Such a meeting can never be commonplace to either. Nor do the two see each other as they are visible to ordinary acquaintances. In the eyes of memory, the grey hair is replaced by the sunny locks of youth; the saddened eyes are bright again and eagerly out-looking into a world of abundant promise; the worn and furrowed brow becomes smooth and white, the pale cheeks touched with youthful bloom; and with a delicious sense of reciprocity each knows that the lost youth of both is present to the mind of either. 

***

But time gives us all something in return; a growing patience which brings sweetness and gentleness in its train; a wider outlook on the world and a deeper insight into the hearts of friends; a tender sympathy with those who suffer, and a truer sense of comradeship with our fellow-travellers on life’s road. And all these things write themselves clearly enough on the ageing faces, sometimes beautifying what once was almost destitute of charm; and sometimes spiritualising what once was beautiful in form and colour, but lacked the loveliness that results from an equal balance of mind and heart.

***

The Boy’s Lament

“What can a boy do, and where can a boy stay,
If he always is told to get out of the way?
He cannot sit here, and he mustn’t stand there,
The cushions that cover that gaily-decked chair
Were put there, of course, to be seen and admired;
A boy has no business to feel a bit tired.
The beautiful carpets with blossom and bloom
On the floor of the tempting and light-shaded room,
Are not made to be walked on—at least, not by boys.
The house is no place, anyway, for their noise.

.

There’s a place for the boys. They will find it somewhere,
And if our own homes are too daintily fair
For the touch of their fingers, the tread of their feet,
They’ll find it, and find it, alas! in the street,
’Mid the gildings of sin and the glitter of vice;
And with heartaches and longings we pay a dear price
For the getting of gain that our lifetime employs
If we fail in providing a place for our boys.

.

Though our souls may be vexed with the problems of life,
And worn with besetments and toiling and strife,
Our hearts will keep younger—your tired heart and mine—
If we give them a place in our innermost shrine;
And till life’s latest hour ’twill be one of our joys
That we keep a small corner—a place for the boys.”

***

Link: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/36330

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Views Expressed Disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the postings, strategies, or opinions of American Wordsmith, LLC. Please also know that while I consider myself an Objectivist and my work is inspired by Objectivism, it is not nor should it be considered Objectivist since I am not the creator of the philosophy. For more information about Ayn Rand’s philosophy visit: aynrand.org.