I wanted to touch on the doomsday cult case one more time to discuss the notion of “immortal love” with god and other people versus “mere” flesh and bone as the Hidden: A True Crime Podcast discusses in one of their episodes. They say that Lori murdered her children for immortal love, like Abraham sacrificing Issac for god in order to prove that there is some sort of immortality.

As an atheist, this love that so many religious people seem to be seeking and are put into the throes of ecstasy over boggles my mind. I feel absolutely nothing when contemplating a man in the sky who wraps his arms around me in acceptance. I will tell you that I feel something when my husband holds me close or I am watching a ballerina fly across the stage with her beautifully strong body.

Has Lori Daybell never felt real, earthly love? Possibly. Has Chad missed out on this opportunity too? Again, possibly. If you feel anything on this earth, then it is the physical and emotional love shown by living, breathing creatures that creates it—not an idea cloaked in gold.

Love is earthly, and that kind of love does feel spiritual. But it is spiritual in the sense that I understand this relationship is a value to me. This leads me to my next point concerning possession in love.

The common misnomer is that love is “selfless,” especially for it to be the kind of spiritual, “immortal” love that religious people speak about. However, in Objectivism, love is, in fact, selfish. An example would be a mother giving her breastmilk to another baby at the expense of her own. That is real sacrifice, real selflessness. Is that love? Does a mother who dotes on another’s baby truly care for hers? Would you feel loved if your spouse told you that he did not selfishly derive any pleasure from being around you? That he or she has to prepare themselves for eventually letting you go to god when he calls? No! There is a certain amount of selfish possession felt by both parties because each is made happy by the other. They do not want to ever relinquish the other person.

I will point out here, though, that if, let’s say, the woman no longer loves the man, then he no longer possesses her, which can only be done voluntarily. If he truly loves her still, then he should want her to be happy and he lets her leave (and vice versa, of course). The man who has little ego or self-esteem will force himself on her, attempting to maintain the possession and selfish love that was already lost once she stopped valuing him in return, and keep her as an unhappy prisoner. That is not a healthy (or rational) kind of possession. Love is consensual, desired by both sides, day in and day out.

I can hear men moaning that women are fickle creatures who seemingly fall out of love in an instant with men. In my personal opinion, I see that kind of behavior with women (and men) who have a low sense of self-esteem and hold fewer values in general. A good woman or a good man, ones with a sense of rational morality, will not be so fickle and will learn how to overcome mistakes or obstacles that arise on their journey through life together. It takes a lot to lose that earthly love between a man and a woman who share values and who value each other. If you have not found that special someone yet, then I encourage you to keep looking!

To conclude, the love had between valuers is one that is selfish, possessive, and spiritual in the most earthly of ways.

***

Links: https://www.rijksmuseum.nl/en/collection/RP-P-1911-3525; https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-65567072; https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hidden-a-true-crime-podcast/id1521619380; https://www.beckydimattia.com/stories-in-art/2013/04/01/abraham-and-isaac/

_____________________________________________________________

Views Expressed Disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the postings, strategies, or opinions of American Wordsmith, LLC. Please also know that while I consider myself an Objectivist and my work is inspired by Objectivism, it is not nor should it be considered Objectivist since I am not the creator of the philosophy. For more information about Ayn Rand’s philosophy visit: aynrand.org.