***WARNING: SPOILERS***
I essentially wrote The Paper Pusher as a way to further connect with my mother’s memory and myself as a young adult. It seems, unfortunately, that we both suffer(ed) with anxiety. And, sadly, I tend to feel closest to her when I am panicking.
As with all my work, I find them to be like fictionalized scrapbooks of my life. I have also had difficulties with my mother’s side of the family in the past. However, I will not get into any of that here.
The rest of the novel was inspired by Gypsy Rose Blanchard’s crime. She had her boyfriend stab her mother after being abused since childhood by her. It was said that her mother was suffering from Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome, which means that her mother deliberately caused symptoms of illness in her child to basically gain attention from others. It is a sick form of child abuse, and I wanted to explore the psychological impact of Munchausen on a figure like Gypsy.
Sophia is a combination of my mother and myself attempting to escape the tyranny of another, more powerful figure. But the novel never really comes to a solid conclusion since abuse takes years to heal from and there may never be full closure.
Sophia feels she has escaped only to latch onto another manipulative and dominant character in that of Damian. The pain she feels mixes with the pleasure of being able to defy her mother in a way that still remains a “known” world to her. By the end, she begins to notice his graying hair and is flung into the realization that he is not perfect or immortal and cannot take care of her forever.
While the reader may be disappointed with the very end, in my mind, it is conclusive. It doesn’t matter whether Gertrude is actually dead or not because she has been among the “living dead” for so long. She has a heart of stone and no will to change it.
The novel is a tragic one. But I hope for readers to take away yet another way of how not to live or treat others. Mental illness can destroy the lives of everyone around you. Go get help if that’s you; become better than yesterday.
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Views Expressed Disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the postings, strategies, or opinions of American Wordsmith, LLC. Please also know that while I consider myself an Objectivist and my work is inspired by Objectivism, it is not nor should it be considered Objectivist since I am not the creator of the philosophy. For more information about Ayn Rand’s philosophy visit: aynrand.org.